Counseling

Usually entails licensed credentials and payment for services. Focuses on all the issues at stake, both emotional and relational.

Coaching

This is a dispute resolution option for those who are unable to unwilling to engage in mediation; requires a systems level of thinking and is designed to empower clients to handle conflict.

Mediation

Helps the parties negotiate to reach agreement through facilitation.

The Kalahari bushmen follow a sequence for solving conflict that taps the ______, or the power of the community.

Third force

Unfair bonding

When one of the parties succeeds in allying with the third party and the resulting alliance lessens the other side's power in the conflict and creates a new issue in the conflict.

The approach to negotiation assumes that the parties have both diverse interest and common interests and that the negotiation process can result in both parties gaining something.

Integrative

_____ encourages new intergrative outcome because most conflict are based on the perception of scarce resources; expaning the resources alters the structure of the conflict

Expanding the pie

Jasmine wants to rent a house, but it's expensive. She discovers that the landlord is concerned about the appearance of the property. Jasmine offers a rent amount below what the landlord wants but agrees to fix up the property both inside and out. Jasmine used _______

Bridging

Which if not an element of principled negotiation?

a. find the legitimate criteria

b. attend to the relationship

c. attend to all elements of communication

d. analyze the FANTA

e. analyze the BANTA

d. analyze the FANTA

As we discussed in class, _____ is one of the main communication skills needed to negotiate effectively.

argumentation

Which of the following is NOT a misconception of emotion in conflict?

a. emotions are rational

b. emotions can't be controlled and will escalate if expressed or released

c. emotions hinder good decision making

d. emotions should be saved for "later"

e. If I "let go" of emotions I will lose control

a. emotions are rational

Affectionate, concentrating, and domineering are all examples of ______

feeling words

In the circumplex model of affect, emotions are classified as all of the following EXCEPT:

a. pleasant

b. unpleasant

c. either/or

d. activated

e. deactivated

either/or

If an admin assistant says, "when you interupt me when I'm on the phone, I feel rattled and belittled," he is using _______

the XYZ formula

This essential conflict reduction tactic developed buy follett reduces the intensity of emotion in conflict by focusing attention on the "sizing of disputes."

Frationation

This type of analysis can be compared to a more detailed map

Mirco-level

This concept suggests that assigning a beginning is less impoartant than looking at the sequence of patterns in the conflict process

Circular causality

Everyone purposely sits on the right side of the classroom leaving Bob alone on the left. Bob is the _____.

an isolate

Everyone purposely sits on the right side of the classroom leaving Bob alone on the left. The class is _____.

the coalition

Hocker & Wilmot's two comprehensive guides to analyze your conflict are:

the conflict assessment and difficult conversations guide

Ury's guidelines for getting to yes/getting past no

don't react, don't argue, don't reject, don't escalate, don't push

6 principles of emotion in conflict

1. conflict depends on enough emotional arousal to get the job done

2. emotional events trigger responses

3. intensity of emotion varies thru conflict process

4. we experience emotion as good/bad, +/-

5. we become emotional b/c something is at stake for us/our identity

6. relationship are definced by our emotions we express

Jones's three assumption of emotions are that it is ________, ________, _______.

-a felt, physiological experience in the boyd

-thinking & interpretation based on our appraisal of what's happening

-emotional expression involving verbal and nonverbal cues

The circumplex model of affect includes emotions varying in...

activation & deactivation, pleasant & unpleasant

T/F feeling words express emotion with conversation

True

T/F positive emotions effect conflict management

True

6 Adaptive functions of emotions

1. Motivation depends on emotions (we don't act w/out reason)

2. each emotion servces a function

3. personal situations trigger organized patterns of emotions (one emotion regulates another)

4. people develop emotion behavior patterns early in life and build on them

5. individual personalities are build on emotion & behavior patterns

6. emotions help us adapt to community life, but trigger difficult behavior in reponse to certain triggers

T/F negative emotions serve no purpose

False

T/F all emotions serve some adpative function

True

6 breeds of negative emotions:

anger
fear/anxiety

hurt

sadness/depression

disgust/contempt/revulsion

shame/guilt/regret

breeds of positive emotions:

joy/love/laughter

happiness/serenity/contentment

T/F Mid-range zones of effectiveness focuses on the potential for productivity and the level of focus

False

(potential for productivity and conflict intensity)

First steps to manage conflict: (Be a warrior of the heart)

don't lost heart

be aware

have compassion & stregnth

have courage

How to resolve the mid-range: zone of effectiveness

Be a warrior of the heart

Express anger responsibly

Use the XYZ Formula

Protect yourself from verbal abuse

Actively listen to emotional communication

Use Fractionation

Use positive Language to work with strong emotion

Three types of conflict on mid-range zone of effectiveness

unexpressed, regulated, and unrestrained

6 ways to constructively resolve anger:

use it to restore your sense of justice

direct at the correct person

reflect, calm down and think

use your best communication skills

be courageous

develop awareness of how people react nonverbally

Responsible expression of anger includes ______, ________, ______, _____.

acknowledging that you're angry (verbally)

distinguish between venting and acknowledging

agree you won't attack the other person when angry

work to find the stimulus of the anger

T/F In all cases the XYZ Forumla =

-when you do x

-in situation y

-I feel Z

False

It's also...

-when you do X in the sitch

-I feel Y

-What I want instead is Z

T/F the nature of emotion is (4 things)

emotions are multidimensional (cognitive, physiological, behavioral)

emotions vary in valence(+/-) and intensity

emotions come in primary and secondary (IDK what I feel sad? angry? frusturated? IDK)

something emotions are meta-emotions (sad-mad)

T/F Macro-Level Analysis tells us the workings of entire systems and subsystems in orgs, small groups, and families

True

T/F Systems theory describes works of the overall system/how they're connected but doesn't show reoccuring communication patterns in the system

False

It shows both com patterns and how they're connected

T/F If you tag someone with the fault label you've managed the conflict

False

You haven't managed the conlict; you've created an enemy

Three key concepts of systems theory:

wholeness, organizations, and patterning

Sasha hit Henry so he tattles on her. But he threw dirt on her before she hit him. This is an example of ________

Circular Causality

T/F Discriptive language is a basic tool for assessing without blame

True

Functioning modes, shaped by natural selection that coordinate physiological, cognitive, motivational, behavioral, and subjective responses that increase the ability to meet the adaptive challenges of situations that occur over time is called _________

Emotion

Gender differences in SADNESS =

boys express anger to cover up sadness

girls express sadness to cover up anger

Macro-level analysis

1. conflict systems occur in chain reactions (Bob blames Billy, who Blames Bob)

2. Each member is programmed into a spectific role in the system

3. Cooperation is necessary to keep conflict going (healthy systems=morphogenesis)

4. triangles tend to form in systems when relationship are close and intense

5. systems develop rules for conflict that are followed even if they work poorly (often block collaborative conflict)

6. the conflict serves the system in some way

Morphogenesis Define

constructive, system-enhansing behaviors that initiate innovation and change

Complex Conflict Patterns happen when the structure has derived from inductive approaches such as _____, _____, _____

identifying speciic system patterns, charting conflict triangles, drawing coalitions

T/F Papp, Silversteins and Carter's System-Theory Analysis suggests that....

attention is focused on connections rather than indicidual characteristics

whole>sum of parts

each part can only be understood in the context of the whole

one change effects everyone else

True

Cuber & Haroff say there are five "stages" of conflict in marriage

1. conflict-habituated (won't get anywhere)

2. devitalized (hollow shell of once-was)

3. passive-congenial (little conflict)

4. vital-intense (intense, mutual sharing of life)

5. total (share every aspect of life; complete each other)

4 Conflict Resolution of couples

1. non-intimate aggressive

2. non-intimate nonaggressive

3. intimate aggressive

4. intimate nonaggressive

Non-intimate aggressive

aggression without emotional closeness (non-satisfying)

Non-intimate nonaggressive

lack vitality, intimacy, and escalation. Don't contend with escalating conflict though

Intimate aggressive

intimate behavior with aggressive acts; conflict results in intimacy

Intimate nonaggressive

small amounts of attacking/blaming behaviors

4 Stages of Conflict

1. members experience minimal # of conflict, communicate openly and share power

2. person thinks significant conflict is a problem -- one pursues while other distances

3. turbulence: high intensity and move toward polarization/can't communicate properly

4. lost ability to work thru conflicts; 3rd party interaction; possible divorce

Conflict Triangles

You experience a conflict with _____, but talk about it with ______

T/F Conflict Triangles only occur when two people feel they have low power in the relationship

False

Conflict triangles occur when one person feels they have low power in the relationship

Define Coalition

closer to each other than a single person

Why are coalitions formed?

B/c of shared topic info, suppport/understanding, sense of belonging, gain power

T/F Heavy communicators resit being moved from central role yet complain about the overwork for keeping the system together and happy

True

Interaction rules of Mirco-Level Analysis

-rules are prescriptions for behaviors (when dad is ;(, mom soothes him)

-rules are stated in prescriptive NOT EVALUATIVE language

System Rules

1. list explicit/implicit rules that prescribe behaviors in conflicts

2. no rules? (BS-- you know there are rules when one is broken)

3. generate rules for good/bad behaviors

4. go over list

5. code each rule (who made it up/keeps it going/enforces it (think grandma's pot roast))

6. does it help/harm productive management of conflict

T/F Mircoevents are repetitive loops of observable, interpersonal behavior with a redundant outcome

True

Conflict Assessment Guide looks at ______ (10 things)

the nature of the conflict, orientation to the conflict, the interests/goals, power, styles, conflict and emotions, analysis of interactions/patterns, attempted solutions, negotiation, and forgiveness/reconciliation

T/F Mircoevents are interactions that give information about other interactions

True

Difficult Conversations guide looks at _______ (3 things)

What happened (their story and your own)

The feelings (yours and theirs)

The identity (how does this affect you/them)

Define negotiation

settling a dispute by a discussion and mutual agreement without a third party

AND

allows conflict parties to state preference, restrain actions, discuss relationship and increase others predictability

Outcomes of negotiations

a) problem resolution

b) partial solution

c) impasse

d) improved relationship as long as decisions are satisfactory

Negotiation occurs when.... (4 things)

a) people recognize their interdependence

b) willing to work with incompatible and overlaping goals

c) established power balance

d) able to talk in problem-solving way

What are the three principles of the conflict spectrum?

avoidance --{negotiation}-- domination

Argument...

implies disagreement on content and uses disagreeable tone

Infante's Arguments

-state what you're claiming

-present evidence

-present reasons

-summarize

(test ideas, not people)

Infante's Effective Anger

-use principles of argumentation with compassion

-reaffirm opponents competence

-let opponent speak

-empahsize equality

-emphasize shared attitudes

-show you're interested with opponents views

-use a subdued, calm delivery

-control argumentive pace

-allow face saving

Negative Views of Negotiation

-win/lose perspective

-conceptualize as series of compromises (negotiated compromise)

-centers on formation negotiations betweeen negotation representatives where beginnings and endings are delineated

Limitation on negotiation:

centers on formal negotiations, negotiating representatives, where the beginning and ends of negotiations are delineated

Approaches to Negotiation:

competitive, integrative, bargaining

Seven Elements of Principled Negotiation

1. attend to relationship

2. attend to all communication elements

3. focus on interests, not positions

4. generate many options

5. find legit criteria

6. analyze the best alternative to a negotiated aggreement (BATNA)

7. work with fair and realistic commitments

Nonspecific compensation

one part is paid off with some form of creative compensation

Trade-offs

when pple have two different priorities and meet in the middle

Integrative Negotiations

mixed motives, seperate needs and interdependent needs, joint benefits for both parties

Competitive/Collaboration Modes

self-interest

competitiveness

rationality

individualistic focus

exchange model

Cost Cutting

minimizes the other's costs for going along with you

(leave half-way thru work for ski trip so other person doesn't feel like he's using a whole vacay-day)

Bridging example

rent apt but it's expensive, landlord wants to beautify; you promise to beautify but at lower expense

Bargain range example

Buyers range: 250-400k

Sellers range: 550-600k

5 Core concerns for constructive conflict resolution

appreciation, affliaction, authnomy, status, and a role that works for each party

T/F Unless you can specify communicative behavoirs that can activate an integrative negotiation set, the principles (core concerns) won't take you very far.

True

Integration practices include....

labeling the conflcit differently

(narrative/story questions not yes/no)

suggesting new rituals to do together

expanding the pie

Expanding the pie

encourages new integrative outcome because most conflit are based on the perception of scarce resouces

What makes implementing the core concerns so difficult?

people have excessive self centered perspectives

strong negative emotions wipe out cognitive ability for integrative focus

automative ways of thinking interrupt processes

insensitivity to emotions

insufficient social skills and lack of mental focus/distraction

Explain coalition and isolates

who's in and out of the group

Competitive and Collaborative Approach to Negotiation

self-interest, competitiveness, rationality, individualistic-focused, the exchange model

Transformative Approach to Negotiation

community concerns, cooperativeness, subjectivity, respect for feelings, all core concerns

Interaction rules

usually implicit

tend to react the same to repeat conflict

In an argumant you do 4 things, they are...

state what you're claiming

present evidence

present reasons

sumarize

T/F 3rd party intervention can be formal or informal

True

T/F Formal 3rd party intervention is when you help someone by supllying cautions to disputes and guidelines for success

False

Informal

T/F Formal 3rd party interventions can be with mediators, councelors, courts, or coaches

True

Third parties can be helpful when (give an example)

your roomate stops paying rent

a friend borrows without permission

someone won't return your calls when something's wrong

students are being harassed

Advantages of using skilled third parties

change style of expression in conflict

alter drgree of interdependence between the parties

change their perceptions/goals (make them compatible)

balance power

modify scarcity of resources

adjust perceived interference by opposing party

Conditions for informal help

make sure they're ready

do they want YOUR help?

what skills do you have to help

are you biased to one side or the other

can you say no when asked to help? (if you can't, you shouldn't be involved)

Unfair bonding

Mediator sides with one side of conflict aprty

Effects of siding

creates win/lost

creates a winner

increases # of conflict participants

unbalanced perceptions/complicates issues

increases the stake of the parties in conflict outcome

Cautions of informal Intervention

be certain they want help

avoid becoming the enemy

remain aware of coalitions

exit the system when work is completed

Modes of Intervention (from high to low degree)

coaching

facilitation

mediation

counseling/therapy

organizational development

concilation

quasi-judicial bodies

informal tribunals

arbitration of all types

criminal and civil justice system

Three steps of formal intervention

negotiation, mediation, arbitration

Coaching

(those unwilling for mediation)

systems thinking, empower clients to handle conflict, prereq skills (emotional intelligence, listening, reframing, and supporting other), coaches look to teach & solve problems & transform conflicts

Counseling

(licensed therapist)

meeting individually or in group, focus on emotion/relation issues with accords to topic, usually doesn't control the conversation

Mediation

no power to render decision or impose solution, helps parties negotiate, control process without interruption, doesn't control outcome, not final judge, assumes conflict is inevitable and resolvable

Advantages to mediation

solutions most likely to be carried out

no loser/winner

parties looking for solution

they craft workable solutions

helps meet underlying interests

cheaper than adjudication/arbitration

Limits to mediation

if someone believes they'll win in court, they're less likely to accept mediation

mediation may not be appropriate (if couples relations are weak/not good)

abused persona cant speak up

involvement may not be worth the effort (not super serious confict)

Victim-Offender Resolution

someone guilty of crimes:

recognize victims rights

allows offenser to take responsibility

provides options of restoration

Shuttle Diplomacy

back-n-forth or propsals

Stages of Mediation

entry, disgnosis, negotiation, aggreement, follow-up

T/F Arbitration is where the expert decides and adjudication is where the judge/jury decides

True

T/F Adjudication is where the expert decides and arbitration is where the judge/jury decides

False

Arbitration

voluntary

no passive-aggressive tactics

arbitrator special training in areas

readily available

variety of content areas

resolves based on conflict

no relational/face saving

Adjudication

some mutual, some without consent

can sue other party

lawyers act it out (not party)

determined by negotiation

appeal possible

case->court when no settlements

power-balance mechanism

evidence=fairness

professional negotiators

overused/misused

back-up for conflict management

win/lose ALWAYS (encourages escalation)

conflict parties don't make decisions

Binding arbitration define

CONTRACT. When the decision is final

Non-binding arbitration define

No contract. Don't accept judgements

Know competitive vs Integrative

assumptions

com. patterns

disadvantages