Counseling
Usually entails licensed credentials and payment for services. Focuses on all the issues at stake, both emotional and relational.
Coaching
This is a dispute resolution option for those who are unable to unwilling to engage in mediation; requires a systems level of thinking and is designed to empower clients to handle conflict.
Mediation
Helps the parties negotiate to reach agreement through facilitation.
The Kalahari bushmen follow a sequence for solving conflict that taps the ______, or the power of the community.
Third force
Unfair bonding
When one of the parties succeeds in allying with the third party and the resulting alliance lessens the other side's power in the conflict and creates a new issue in the conflict.
The approach to negotiation assumes that the parties have both diverse interest and common interests and that the negotiation process can result in both parties gaining something.
Integrative
_____ encourages new intergrative outcome because most conflict are based on the perception of scarce resources; expaning the resources alters the structure of the conflict
Expanding the pie
Jasmine wants to rent a house, but it's expensive. She discovers that the landlord is concerned about the appearance of the property. Jasmine offers a rent amount below what the landlord wants but agrees to fix up the property both inside and out. Jasmine used _______
Bridging
Which if not an element of principled negotiation?
a. find the legitimate criteria
b. attend to the relationship
c. attend to all elements of communication
d. analyze the FANTA
e. analyze the BANTA
d. analyze the FANTA
As we discussed in class, _____ is one of the main communication skills needed to negotiate effectively.
argumentation
Which of the following is NOT a misconception of emotion in conflict?
a. emotions are rational
b. emotions can't be controlled and will escalate if expressed or released
c. emotions hinder good decision making
d. emotions should be saved for "later"
e. If I "let go" of emotions I will lose control
a. emotions are rational
Affectionate, concentrating, and domineering are all examples of ______
feeling words
In the circumplex model of affect, emotions are classified as all of the following EXCEPT:
a. pleasant
b. unpleasant
c. either/or
d. activated
e. deactivated
either/or
If an admin assistant says, "when you interupt me when I'm on the phone, I feel rattled and belittled," he is using _______
the XYZ formula
This essential conflict reduction tactic developed buy follett reduces the intensity of emotion in conflict by focusing attention on the "sizing of disputes."
Frationation
This type of analysis can be compared to a more detailed map
Mirco-level
This concept suggests that assigning a beginning is less impoartant than looking at the sequence of patterns in the conflict process
Circular causality
Everyone purposely sits on the right side of the classroom leaving Bob alone on the left. Bob is the _____.
an isolate
Everyone purposely sits on the right side of the classroom leaving Bob alone on the left. The class is _____.
the coalition
Hocker & Wilmot's two comprehensive guides to analyze your conflict are:
the conflict assessment and difficult conversations guide
Ury's guidelines for getting to yes/getting past no
don't react, don't argue, don't reject, don't escalate, don't push
6 principles of emotion in conflict
1. conflict depends on enough emotional arousal to get the job done
2. emotional events trigger responses
3. intensity of emotion varies thru conflict process
4. we experience emotion as good/bad, +/-
5. we become emotional b/c something is at stake for us/our identity
6. relationship are definced by our emotions we express
Jones's three assumption of emotions are that it is ________, ________, _______.
-a felt, physiological experience in the boyd
-thinking & interpretation based on our appraisal of what's happening
-emotional expression involving verbal and nonverbal cues
The circumplex model of affect includes emotions varying in...
activation & deactivation, pleasant & unpleasant
T/F feeling words express emotion with conversation
True
T/F positive emotions effect conflict management
True
6 Adaptive functions of emotions
1. Motivation depends on emotions (we don't act w/out reason)
2. each emotion servces a function
3. personal situations trigger organized patterns of emotions (one emotion regulates another)
4. people develop emotion behavior patterns early in life and build on them
5. individual personalities are build on emotion & behavior patterns
6. emotions help us adapt to community life, but trigger difficult behavior in reponse to certain triggers
T/F negative emotions serve no purpose
False
T/F all emotions serve some adpative function
True
6 breeds of negative emotions:
anger
fear/anxiety
hurt
sadness/depression
disgust/contempt/revulsion
shame/guilt/regret
breeds of positive emotions:
joy/love/laughter
happiness/serenity/contentment
T/F Mid-range zones of effectiveness focuses on the potential for productivity and the level of focus
False
(potential for productivity and conflict intensity)
First steps to manage conflict: (Be a warrior of the heart)
don't lost heart
be aware
have compassion & stregnth
have courage
How to resolve the mid-range: zone of effectiveness
Be a warrior of the heart
Express anger responsibly
Use the XYZ Formula
Protect yourself from verbal abuse
Actively listen to emotional communication
Use Fractionation
Use positive Language to work with strong emotion
Three types of conflict on mid-range zone of effectiveness
unexpressed, regulated, and unrestrained
6 ways to constructively resolve anger:
use it to restore your sense of justice
direct at the correct person
reflect, calm down and think
use your best communication skills
be courageous
develop awareness of how people react nonverbally
Responsible expression of anger includes ______, ________, ______, _____.
acknowledging that you're angry (verbally)
distinguish between venting and acknowledging
agree you won't attack the other person when angry
work to find the stimulus of the anger
T/F In all cases the XYZ Forumla =
-when you do x
-in situation y
-I feel Z
False
It's also...
-when you do X in the sitch
-I feel Y
-What I want instead is Z
T/F the nature of emotion is (4 things)
emotions are multidimensional (cognitive, physiological, behavioral)
emotions vary in valence(+/-) and intensity
emotions come in primary and secondary (IDK what I feel sad? angry? frusturated? IDK)
something emotions are meta-emotions (sad-mad)
T/F Macro-Level Analysis tells us the workings of entire systems and subsystems in orgs, small groups, and families
True
T/F Systems theory describes works of the overall system/how they're connected but doesn't show reoccuring communication patterns in the system
False
It shows both com patterns and how they're connected
T/F If you tag someone with the fault label you've managed the conflict
False
You haven't managed the conlict; you've created an enemy
Three key concepts of systems theory:
wholeness, organizations, and patterning
Sasha hit Henry so he tattles on her. But he threw dirt on her before she hit him. This is an example of ________
Circular Causality
T/F Discriptive language is a basic tool for assessing without blame
True
Functioning modes, shaped by natural selection that coordinate physiological, cognitive, motivational, behavioral, and subjective responses that increase the ability to meet the adaptive challenges of situations that occur over time is called _________
Emotion
Gender differences in SADNESS =
boys express anger to cover up sadness
girls express sadness to cover up anger
Macro-level analysis
1. conflict systems occur in chain reactions (Bob blames Billy, who Blames Bob)
2. Each member is programmed into a spectific role in the system
3. Cooperation is necessary to keep conflict going (healthy systems=morphogenesis)
4. triangles tend to form in systems when relationship are close and intense
5. systems develop rules for conflict that are followed even if they work poorly (often block collaborative conflict)
6. the conflict serves the system in some way
Morphogenesis Define
constructive, system-enhansing behaviors that initiate innovation and change
Complex Conflict Patterns happen when the structure has derived from inductive approaches such as _____, _____, _____
identifying speciic system patterns, charting conflict triangles, drawing coalitions
T/F Papp, Silversteins and Carter's System-Theory Analysis suggests that....
attention is focused on connections rather than indicidual characteristics
whole>sum of parts
each part can only be understood in the context of the whole
one change effects everyone else
True
Cuber & Haroff say there are five "stages" of conflict in marriage
1. conflict-habituated (won't get anywhere)
2. devitalized (hollow shell of once-was)
3. passive-congenial (little conflict)
4. vital-intense (intense, mutual sharing of life)
5. total (share every aspect of life; complete each other)
4 Conflict Resolution of couples
1. non-intimate aggressive
2. non-intimate nonaggressive
3. intimate aggressive
4. intimate nonaggressive
Non-intimate aggressive
aggression without emotional closeness (non-satisfying)
Non-intimate nonaggressive
lack vitality, intimacy, and escalation. Don't contend with escalating conflict though
Intimate aggressive
intimate behavior with aggressive acts; conflict results in intimacy
Intimate nonaggressive
small amounts of attacking/blaming behaviors
4 Stages of Conflict
1. members experience minimal # of conflict, communicate openly and share power
2. person thinks significant conflict is a problem -- one pursues while other distances
3. turbulence: high intensity and move toward polarization/can't communicate properly
4. lost ability to work thru conflicts; 3rd party interaction; possible divorce
Conflict Triangles
You experience a conflict with _____, but talk about it with ______
T/F Conflict Triangles only occur when two people feel they have low power in the relationship
False
Conflict triangles occur when one person feels they have low power in the relationship
Define Coalition
closer to each other than a single person
Why are coalitions formed?
B/c of shared topic info, suppport/understanding, sense of belonging, gain power
T/F Heavy communicators resit being moved from central role yet complain about the overwork for keeping the system together and happy
True
Interaction rules of Mirco-Level Analysis
-rules are prescriptions for behaviors (when dad is ;(, mom soothes him)
-rules are stated in prescriptive NOT EVALUATIVE language
System Rules
1. list explicit/implicit rules that prescribe behaviors in conflicts
2. no rules? (BS-- you know there are rules when one is broken)
3. generate rules for good/bad behaviors
4. go over list
5. code each rule (who made it up/keeps it going/enforces it (think grandma's pot roast))
6. does it help/harm productive management of conflict
T/F Mircoevents are repetitive loops of observable, interpersonal behavior with a redundant outcome
True
Conflict Assessment Guide looks at ______ (10 things)
the nature of the conflict, orientation to the conflict, the interests/goals, power, styles, conflict and emotions, analysis of interactions/patterns, attempted solutions, negotiation, and forgiveness/reconciliation
T/F Mircoevents are interactions that give information about other interactions
True
Difficult Conversations guide looks at _______ (3 things)
What happened (their story and your own)
The feelings (yours and theirs)
The identity (how does this affect you/them)
Define negotiation
settling a dispute by a discussion and mutual agreement without a third party
AND
allows conflict parties to state preference, restrain actions, discuss relationship and increase others predictability
Outcomes of negotiations
a) problem resolution
b) partial solution
c) impasse
d) improved relationship as long as decisions are satisfactory
Negotiation occurs when.... (4 things)
a) people recognize their interdependence
b) willing to work with incompatible and overlaping goals
c) established power balance
d) able to talk in problem-solving way
What are the three principles of the conflict spectrum?
avoidance --{negotiation}-- domination
Argument...
implies disagreement on content and uses disagreeable tone
Infante's Arguments
-state what you're claiming
-present evidence
-present reasons
-summarize
(test ideas, not people)
Infante's Effective Anger
-use principles of argumentation with compassion
-reaffirm opponents competence
-let opponent speak
-empahsize equality
-emphasize shared attitudes
-show you're interested with opponents views
-use a subdued, calm delivery
-control argumentive pace
-allow face saving
Negative Views of Negotiation
-win/lose perspective
-conceptualize as series of compromises (negotiated compromise)
-centers on formation negotiations betweeen negotation representatives where beginnings and endings are delineated
Limitation on negotiation:
centers on formal negotiations, negotiating representatives, where the beginning and ends of negotiations are delineated
Approaches to Negotiation:
competitive, integrative, bargaining
Seven Elements of Principled Negotiation
1. attend to relationship
2. attend to all communication elements
3. focus on interests, not positions
4. generate many options
5. find legit criteria
6. analyze the best alternative to a negotiated aggreement (BATNA)
7. work with fair and realistic commitments
Nonspecific compensation
one part is paid off with some form of creative compensation
Trade-offs
when pple have two different priorities and meet in the middle
Integrative Negotiations
mixed motives, seperate needs and interdependent needs, joint benefits for both parties
Competitive/Collaboration Modes
self-interest
competitiveness
rationality
individualistic focus
exchange model
Cost Cutting
minimizes the other's costs for going along with you
(leave half-way thru work for ski trip so other person doesn't feel like he's using a whole vacay-day)
Bridging example
rent apt but it's expensive, landlord wants to beautify; you promise to beautify but at lower expense
Bargain range example
Buyers range: 250-400k
Sellers range: 550-600k
5 Core concerns for constructive conflict resolution
appreciation, affliaction, authnomy, status, and a role that works for each party
T/F Unless you can specify communicative behavoirs that can activate an integrative negotiation set, the principles (core concerns) won't take you very far.
True
Integration practices include....
labeling the conflcit differently
(narrative/story questions not yes/no)
suggesting new rituals to do together
expanding the pie
Expanding the pie
encourages new integrative outcome because most conflit are based on the perception of scarce resouces
What makes implementing the core concerns so difficult?
people have excessive self centered perspectives
strong negative emotions wipe out cognitive ability for integrative focus
automative ways of thinking interrupt processes
insensitivity to emotions
insufficient social skills and lack of mental focus/distraction
Explain coalition and isolates
who's in and out of the group
Competitive and Collaborative Approach to Negotiation
self-interest, competitiveness, rationality, individualistic-focused, the exchange model
Transformative Approach to Negotiation
community concerns, cooperativeness, subjectivity, respect for feelings, all core concerns
Interaction rules
usually implicit
tend to react the same to repeat conflict
In an argumant you do 4 things, they are...
state what you're claiming
present evidence
present reasons
sumarize
T/F 3rd party intervention can be formal or informal
True
T/F Formal 3rd party intervention is when you help someone by supllying cautions to disputes and guidelines for success
False
Informal
T/F Formal 3rd party interventions can be with mediators, councelors, courts, or coaches
True
Third parties can be helpful when (give an example)
your roomate stops paying rent
a friend borrows without permission
someone won't return your calls when something's wrong
students are being harassed
Advantages of using skilled third parties
change style of expression in conflict
alter drgree of interdependence between the parties
change their perceptions/goals (make them compatible)
balance power
modify scarcity of resources
adjust perceived interference by opposing party
Conditions for informal help
make sure they're ready
do they want YOUR help?
what skills do you have to help
are you biased to one side or the other
can you say no when asked to help? (if you can't, you shouldn't be involved)
Unfair bonding
Mediator sides with one side of conflict aprty
Effects of siding
creates win/lost
creates a winner
increases # of conflict participants
unbalanced perceptions/complicates issues
increases the stake of the parties in conflict outcome
Cautions of informal Intervention
be certain they want help
avoid becoming the enemy
remain aware of coalitions
exit the system when work is completed
Modes of Intervention (from high to low degree)
coaching
facilitation
mediation
counseling/therapy
organizational development
concilation
quasi-judicial bodies
informal tribunals
arbitration of all types
criminal and civil justice system
Three steps of formal intervention
negotiation, mediation, arbitration
Coaching
(those unwilling for mediation)
systems thinking, empower clients to handle conflict, prereq skills (emotional intelligence, listening, reframing, and supporting other), coaches look to teach & solve problems & transform conflicts
Counseling
(licensed therapist)
meeting individually or in group, focus on emotion/relation issues with accords to topic, usually doesn't control the conversation
Mediation
no power to render decision or impose solution, helps parties negotiate, control process without interruption, doesn't control outcome, not final judge, assumes conflict is inevitable and resolvable
Advantages to mediation
solutions most likely to be carried out
no loser/winner
parties looking for solution
they craft workable solutions
helps meet underlying interests
cheaper than adjudication/arbitration
Limits to mediation
if someone believes they'll win in court, they're less likely to accept mediation
mediation may not be appropriate (if couples relations are weak/not good)
abused persona cant speak up
involvement may not be worth the effort (not super serious confict)
Victim-Offender Resolution
someone guilty of crimes:
recognize victims rights
allows offenser to take responsibility
provides options of restoration
Shuttle Diplomacy
back-n-forth or propsals
Stages of Mediation
entry, disgnosis, negotiation, aggreement, follow-up
T/F Arbitration is where the expert decides and adjudication is where the judge/jury decides
True
T/F Adjudication is where the expert decides and arbitration is where the judge/jury decides
False
Arbitration
voluntary
no passive-aggressive tactics
arbitrator special training in areas
readily available
variety of content areas
resolves based on conflict
no relational/face saving
Adjudication
some mutual, some without consent
can sue other party
lawyers act it out (not party)
determined by negotiation
appeal possible
case->court when no settlements
power-balance mechanism
evidence=fairness
professional negotiators
overused/misused
back-up for conflict management
win/lose ALWAYS (encourages escalation)
conflict parties don't make decisions
Binding arbitration define
CONTRACT. When the decision is final
Non-binding arbitration define
No contract. Don't accept judgements
Know competitive vs Integrative
assumptions
com. patterns
disadvantages
...