Family

a system of elements that operate together producing communication patterns that enable its members to either adapt to or resist outside influences and typical crises within the family system

relationship

how two or more concepts, objects, or people are connected, or the state of being connected

family structure

various working orders developed by the entire family

family functions

services a family provides for its members and the society at large

power-authority structure

the way a family assigns the authority to wield discipline within the family

positional structure

a family authority structure in which lines of authority are hierarchically arranged, based on status and social position

person-oriented structures

families allowing individuals members to determine how much influence they want to exert

consensus

general agreement among various groups on fundamental matters; broad agreement on public questions

accomodation

less articulate or dominating family members give in

Defacto

single family member acts alone or the matter is decided by events

interaction structures

communication channels most frequently used

centralized

a single member who interacts a great deal with all of the members and may or may not pass information along to the family`

decentralized

frequent interaction is likely to occur with all or most family members

family systems theory

views the family as a system of interacting parts whose interactions exhibit consistent patterns and unstated rules

open family

encourages its members to interact with the outside world and to share those interactions

closed family

discourages its members from interacting outside the home and emphasizes that family comes first

random family

a family in which boundaries are not very clearly drawn and may be frequent source of misunderstanding and dispute

enmeshed system

one that sacrifices the autonomy of its members in order to experience a great deal of cohesion

disengaged family

promotes independence but little family loyalty

family evolution

how the family adapts to the developmental changes and personal needs of its members as well as to the changing social and economic needs of the culture

family crisis

a situation in which the usual behavior patterns are ineffective and new ones are called for immediately

Sapir-Whorf hypothesis

language creates way of thinking and perceiving

crisis in stages: DIVORCE

Stage 1: shock resulting in numbness or disbelief, denial

Stage 2: recoil stage resulting in anger, confusion, blaming, guilt, and bargaining

Stage 3: depression

Stage 4: reorganization resulting in acceptance and recovery

accommodation decision making style

a style of decision making in which less articulate or less dominating members of the family give in to those who hold the power or are more persistent

centralized network

a communication structure in which team members communicate through a single individual to solve problems or make decisions

comforting

a response style in which a listener reassures, supports, or distracts the person seeking help

companionate family

type of family build on mutual affection, sexual attraction, compatibility, and personal happiness between husband and wife

constitutive rules

communication rules that specify how certain communicative acts are to be counted

control messages

power assertion, love withdrawal, induction

democratic family

family in which adolescents participate in decisions affecting their lives

family themes

recurring attitudes, beliefs, or outlooks on life shared by the entire family

independent couples

married partners who exhibit sharing and companionship and are psychologically interdependent but allow each other individual space

love withdrawal discipline

relies on child's fear they will lose parent's support, affection, and approval

separate couples

live together but view their relationship more as a matter of convenience than a result of their mutual love or closeness

intimacy

relational closeness

characteristics of relationships

constantly changing, affected by culture, require maintenance, require commitment

factors that influence intimacy

1. perspectives

2. created prototype

3. environmental conditions

environmental conditions of intimacy

physical proximity, shared episodes, romantic feelings

physical proximity

increased likelihood that 2 people will communicate more frequently with each other

shared episodes

an episode is shared when 2 people engage in an activity that neither could do alone

romantic feelings

emotional state leading to intimacy that occurs when an event brings two people together, an individual convinces himself the other is attractive, and some form of arousal

Duck's Filtering Theory of Attraction

1. Sociological cues

2. Pre-interaction cues

3. Interaction cues

4. Cognitive Cues

sociological cues

proximity, frequency of interaction

pre-interaction cues

physical cues (height, weight, artifacts, and beauty) that serve a basis for attraction and perceptions of similarity and difference

interaction cues

make assessments about whether they want to get to know someone better

cognitive cues

attraction is ultimately based on shared values and opinions

matching hypothesis

the tendency to develop relationships with people who are approximately as attractive as we are

reciprocal liking

we are attached to them because they express liking toward us

complementary needs

people are more likely to be attracted to someone who complements their needs and vice versa

exchange theory

the ratio of cost to rewards derived by each person is a goal predictor of how attracted each person will be to the relationship

relationship development

initiating, experimenting, intensifying, integrating, bonding

grave-dressing phase

this is the time when each gives an account of why the relationship failed (final phase)

covenant talk (in bonding: knapp stage model)

discussions in which people work out what they want, what they believe, and what they hope for each other

Social Penetration theory

proposes relationships develop through increases in self-disclosure

self-disclosure

voluntary sharing of information about the self that another person is not likely to know

breadth

number of topics we are willing to discuss

depth

depth with which we are willing to discuss any given topic

4 stages of relationship development

1. Orientation (non-deep areas, cautious)

2. Exploratory affective exchange (friends vs acquaintances)

3. Affective exchange (open with some resistance, barriers are broken)

4. Stable exchange (very, very open, extensive communication, highly intimate)

orientation

involves superficial disclosure that allows people to get to know each other in a non-threatening way

exploratory affective exchange

broadening the range of topics allows them to determine what they have in common and whether they want to continue the relationship

affective exchange

when people start to disclose about more personal topics or emotions/become more vulnerable

stable exchange

people feel free to disclose almost all of their thoughts, feelings, and experiences

social penetration

self disclosure becomes less personal and less frequent

turning point model

couples move forward from commitment over the course of their relationship

dialectics model

dialectical tensions like independence or interdependence are always negotiated moving relationship forwards

love styles

eros, storge, ludus, mania, agape, pragma

- Lee (1973)

eros

"romantic and passionate love"

strong emotional highs and lows, characterized by attraction & affection, sexual desire: in love, sense of intimacy quickly, high levels of self-disclosure

- to intensify, increase conflict and tokens of behavior

storge

"friendship love"

compassion = 1st priority, high levels of commitment and intimacy + low levels of passion, security & companionship important, love = partnership

3 things: affection, shared values and goals, compatibility

- might become bored + predictable

ludus

view relationship as fun and casual, avoid commitment (play the field), gather information from 3rd parties, share little with partner, slow to develop intimacy

- use negative strategy to maintain relationship like making partner jealous + being unfaithful

mania

ERO + LUDUS

more demanding + dependent, possessive and jealous, high levels of physical attraction and passion, emotional highs and lows

- negative behaviors to control partners

agape

EROS + STORGE

revolves around caring, concern and tenderness, focused on giving (deep abiding and passionate love), willing to make sacrifices for the other, high levels of unconditional level, lack of secret tasks

pragma

STORGE + LUDUS

avoid emotional risk-taking, commit only after considerable time and thought, search for person who fits particular image, "common sense" approach for problem solving approach to life and love, use direct communication and practical strategies

KNAPP

stage model of relationship development and intimacy (staircase)

coming together (CT) + coming apart (CA)

- not every couple faces coming apart

CT: initiating

meeting, introductions

- formalized, fellowship social scripts, culturally appropriate messages

CT: experimenting

small talk, flirtatious

CT: intensifying

dating, spending intentional time (talking)

CT: integrating

order lives around one another, exclusive; expectation of invitation (as a couple), seeing family, rhythm

CA: differentiating

independent interests to separate oneself (begin to come apart); can be giving space

CA: circumscribing

conflict, miscommunicating, arguing (expectations so rejecting communication); trust violations

CA: stagnating

little left to be said, void of communication

CA: avoiding

choose to be apart from SO; moving out, etc.

CA: terminating

formally ending relationship (grave dressing)

secrete tests within the intensifying stage

endurance, separation, triangle, indirect suggestion

endurance test

want to know if they are committed to us; increase costs to see if person will remain

separation test

see if they will miss us and commit more

triangle test

flirting with someone else to make jealous; seeing if the other person is interested in somebody else (unfaithful to test for jealousy)

indirect suggestion

testing to see what you stand indirectly

uncertainty reduction theory

WE WANT TO REDUCE UNCERTAINTY

culture

the set of virtues and beliefs, norms and customs, rules, and codes that socially define groups of people, binding them to one another and giving them a sense of community

culture's worldview

its orientation toward such things as God, humans, nature, the universe, and the other philosophical issues that are concerned with the concept of being

5 dimensions of cultural difference

1. locus of control

2. action oriented

3. attitudes toward time

4. connection to others

5. communication styles

locus of control

how much control we have over our lives

1. control cultures 2. constraint culture

control culture (locus of control)

have a belief in one's own ability to control destiny (internal locus of control)

constraint culture (locus of control)

believe people have very little control over their lives and there is little one can do to change his/her fate (external locus of control)`

action-oriented

how time is spent and valued

doing cultures (action oriented)

members worry about washing time and judge their own worth by their accomplishments - judged on how well they do not relate to others

being cultures (action oriented)

personal compatibility is more important than job competence, not as driven- (relaxing is not wasting time)

attitudes toward time

perception of how time is structured

M-time cultures (attitudes toward time)

"time is money," should be scheduled and organized (monochronic); expect things to start on time (we schedule unscheduled time)

P-time cultures (attitudes toward time)

pre-set schedules are seldom followed, several tasks may be undertaken at the same time (polychronic), not multitasking

connection to others

individualistic cultures & collectivistic cultures

individualistic cultures (connection to others)

basic unit: individual; expected to make their own decisions, take personal responsibility for their actions and look out for their own best interests (loyalty to self)

collectivistic cultures (connection to others)

basic unit: group; believe individual must be subordinate to the group and in return the group protects its members, conformity and consensus are sought (loyalty to others)

communication styles

what are they looking at to determine meaning

low-context (communication styles)

meaning is explicitly stated in words; people are expected to say what they mean and mean what they say (accuracy and clarity = important), meaning clearly laid out by speaker

high-context (communication styles)

meaning is implicit and unstated; receivers are expected to look at context to understand the speaker's meaning (people are expected to read between the lines), being too direct is seen as offensive

barriers to intercultural understanding (THINGS TO NOT DO)

prejudice, discounting, fundamental attribution error, totalizing, ethnocentrism, assumed similarity

predjuice

negative social attitude held by members of one group towards members of another, biases perception and leads to discrimination

discounting

dismiss information that does not fit the preconceived schemata

fundamental attribution error

overestimating internal cause and underestimate external cause for our success, overestimate internal for failure

totalizing

characterizing someone solely by one dimension of a person, limiting character

ethnocentrism

assuming your culture is better than another

assumed similarity

ignore differences and assume all of one group are the same

increasing our co cultural understanding (THINGS TO DO)

1. open yourself up to new contacts

2. learn about the history and experiences of different subcultures

3. test your stereotypes

4. develop empathy

5. work on becoming more self-confident

social role expectations

lay the foundations for professional interactions

- enacting roles and scripts